Day Four: I Hear the Birds Singing

Reminder: be a good person.


The world is quiet today. We can hear birds singing, gulls calling out as they swoop over the bay. The neighborhood crows are quiet, but I see them perched on my front porch. The natural world is ready to take over what we have thoroughly fucked up. The natural world is living its life, while we hunker down, listening to them live.

Right now I miss my grandchildren very much. Dashiell is 11, Kallista is 8. They are with their mom about an hour away. They are magical people and I want to be around to see who they become in 20 years. That's my goal right now; stick around for at least 20 years. I miss my son, too, viciously -- but I haven't introduced him here yet. Maybe tomorrow.

These are my two young people. They give me sense of purpose.Their dad is my son. I can't see him for a long time, either.

The one on the left is utterly bummed that she actually has to do homework while on Stay at Home order. I haven't seen her as she had her tonsils out and is thus at higher risk of infection.

The one on the right, I got to have him over for three days last weekend, right before the shelter in place order, which gave me some kind of superpower to get through this thing and I'm holding onto that with a stranglehold.

This sensation of timelessness is mind-numbing. We have no idea when we will be released, to any degree, to a semblance of normalcy. These people are my normal and I need them. Soon, I tell myself, soon.

I do not think by any stretch believe I am alone in feeling lonely, alone, separated, anxious, afraid, confused. I know everyone else, does, too. We don't know how long this will last what the impact will be over the long haul or how we will, literally, survive. People are losing their jobs. There is a lack of basic safety supplies for the front-liners at hospitals, nursing facilities, and elsewhere. People in their homes are no doubt suffering lack of very basic-basic things. Help where you can.

We just do not know what this means in the long run, and it's only day four of being on Shelter in Place and people are already weary of it.

NY Governor Cuomo has for days been pontificating about how he won't put the state on a Shelter in Place and how ridiculous that is, and as predictable as it is, today he order 75% of the state's workforce to work from home and put the state on a "stay a home" order. SEMANTICS, motherfucker. Why didn't you guide people to ease into this instead of insisting it just wasn't going to happen and then doing it anyway. It's not like I expect our Powers that Be to know what to do in this unprecedented time but I do expect them to tone down the power plays they use to try to placate or lord over us. How hard would it be to just admit you don't know what you're doing, but you're doing the best you can with the powers you hold and with the information you are privvy to? I don't know but you, but I need calm, succinct leadership. Governor Gavin Newsome is doing a damned good job. We voted in the right man. I am super impressed by his actions and his State of the State conferences. He doesn't know WTF he's doing either, but he's using what he has to do the best he can.

Having more (distant) contact with my neighbors than I ever do, which is weird. Across the street, Brenda was weeding her yard. She does that on a normal weekend, but not at 1 p.m. on a Friday. Everyday is fluid. We talked for a few minutes; she has a gallon of isopropyl alcohol. I happen to have a quart of glycerin. I gave her a jar of the glycerin. She mentioned she's running out of rice; I have rice. She has no flour -- I don't have much. I left a two-pound bag of jasmine rice along with the jar of glycerin on her porch. She left me, in return, a large jar of hand sterilizer.

Next door are Joe and Dale and their two-month-old little dude, Wilder. I can hear Wilder scream bloody murder a couple times a day and it makes me happy. He's alive, squalling as babies do for food or diaper change or whatever it is they gripe about. It makes me happy that he's oblivious to this strange and epic time and that he just lives his life diaper to diaper.

Dale went to the grocery store today and got me items from my list. A cabbage, some mushrooms, slicer tomatoes and oranges. Goddamnit I need some fresh fruit. She had to text me because several basic items had to be replaced with something else -- Chinese cabbage with Savoy Cabbage, for example.

There are no eggs, milk, flour, sugar, rice (among other things). Toilet paper and paper towels have been out of stock everywhere for about a week now. I'm one of the lucky ones who has a compulsion to overstock on those things, so Casa de Eva is well-stocked and lacking for nothing. Finally, the hoarding compulsion I learned from my darling Nana pays off. Boy, would she be proud. I wish I had pictures, but my Nana literally had a full storm basement set up like a grocery store with itemized shelves and two deep freezers. She was no joke ready for the zombie apocalypse. Her spice collection contained unopened boxes of basil, oregano, and parsley dating to 1945 and she enough food overall to last an entire year, most likely. Freezer burned turkey doesn't sound so bad when it's the only turkey you're gonna have this year.

In my larder are at least 10 cans of tuna, a few of sardines. Powdered milk, coconut milk, condensed and evaporated milks. Butter, margarine, lard, duck fat, vegetable shortening and ghee. I have coconut oil, olive oil, grapeseed oil, and some peanut oil for frying. White flour, whole wheat flour, buckwheat flour, almond flour, coconut flour, tapioca flours and cornmeal, polenta, and grits. I have enough panko that I could potentially grind it down for wheat flour if push came to shove.

My canned foods have been culled down, but aside from tuna, I have marinara sauce, al fredo sauce, tomato sauce (both home and commercially canned), tomato paste. Don't get me started on dried fruits. The only one I am missing are prunes which I actually needed for a lamb tagine the other day. Nevermind, the tagine turned out quite good anyway.

Okay, well you get the idea. Nobody's gonna starve in this house, thanks to my Nana, Virginia Derr Jencks Chambers.  Here's a rather crappy picture of her (left), uncle Clint, Grandpa Clint, and my mom, Linda.

She kept everyone alive with her perpetual pots of soups; mystery ingredients in her soup pot, which never went empty.  I suspect they were leftovers from whenever, but I never asked. They always tasted good. She must have used the fresh spices for it.


Burger King is offering free meals to children. My first thought is how unhealthy that is. My second thought is "it is food, kids need to eat".

I had to go to Walgreen's today for a prescription. There were numerous people there, all staying a wide berth from each other. I wore an N95 mask because I have it and why not. One of the clerks there was wearing one as well. The prescription tech was wearing gloves. We did what we could to avoid touching back and forth the little data screen, my credit card, etcetera. She didn't ask me for ID for my restricted medication; she said, "I know who you are, why take more risk?"

Anderson Cooper just announced that some of his staff tested positive. Several government officials have as well. Athletes, movie stars and other 'important' (read that: rich) people have. A local woman got sick a few days ago with a fever of 103. Felt like crap. Called her doctor. Was told she's not sick enough to be tested.

I HAVE QUESTIONS.

President Trump has been gaslighting the American public forever now, and as I have said before he needs to STFU. Today, in response to a journalists question "What do you have to say to Americans who are scared?", Trump replied "You are a terrible journalist... " What in the actual fuck. I have nothing further to add to his other than that Dr. Fouchi covered his face during the daily press conference.

Well now, the Dixie Chicks recently dropped a new album, with a song I think you should listen to. We're being Gaslighted by our president folks and that demented creature needs to be removed. Enjoy this one, it is spot on.

People are dying. The virus is growing exponentially. There's no sign of it stopping right now. Don't listen to the president, he doesn't know what the fuck he is talking about and he's lying to us.

So anyway, Day four: Ewapele' (Yoruba) - My loose translation: be the person in the world you want the world to be. Show kindness, generosity, courage, love and light.

Here's another video for you, just because it always brings me peace. Love me some India.Irie

Peace and love,
Heather/Hanai'ali'i/Eve at Casa de Eva